Stupid Charity is No Charity At All

This has to be one of the dumbest charity projects I have ever heard of, and among those in very very poor taste.

The Miss Landmine project to "raise awareness" for the victims of landmines in Angola. Its a beauty pageant that features amputeed women and is supposed to promote "female pride and empowerment" as well as "disabled empowerment". The whole thing was spearheaded by Norwegian artist, Morten Traavik.

For real? For really real?

"In Angola disabled women are often isolated and looked down upon. Therefore, many of the women initially didn’t believe Morten Traavik, as he travelled around the country to sign up candidates for the pageant.

'It was almost too good to be true that they were to do a fun assignment and be seen and heard. They received a fee of 200 USD per working day, free travel and accommodation, and got to keep the dresses, says Traavik, adding that there was a lot of laughter on the set.'

The winner (and only the winner) of the pageant receives a leg prosthesis from Norway. The other ugly ducklings are left to hobble around on sticks (as all ugly amputeed women should), but they do get to keep the dresses. So really, in the end it all balances out.*

All this has inspired me to create a new project for famine in Africa. We'll round up a bunch of starving brown children, dangle a steak just above their heads and whoever jumps the highest and doesn't pass out or break a limb, gets to eat it and have their picture taken with a variety of brown American athletes. It'll be fun for the whole family.*

Mr. Traavik and associates, STOP TRYING TO HELP AFRICA! You're not doing a very good job. This is a highly ineffective charity project because it does nothing to help these women or their families in the long run. Suffering from an infection at the amputation site? Can't support your family because you can't work? Don't want to whore yourself out to the neighborhood or pose for photos intended to simulate American rap videos? Well its okay, because you have a shiny plastic tiara and a sash.

Here's my idea, my real idea, for helping the disabled: Athletic programs. Have a lot of amputees due to landmines? Get them ALL a prosthesis and create a soccer (or other popular sport) team. I'm sure women aren't the only ones getting body parts blown off, you can have a men's team, a women's team, even a girls and boys junior team. Not only are you giving them the prostheses they need, but you're teaching them how to function, physically, to be mobile and self sufficient. Even if there are those who can't compete, they can still benefit the money these programs can raise. Let the community come to their games, and however money is given to them, at least 80% of it needs to go back into the community to help the disabled. Medical care, setting up businesses, whatever they need in order to make their lives and the lives of others better. The other 20% should go to maintaining the program, unless there are other ways of maintaining it that don't eat up the monetary donations.

So in short, the Miss Landmine project sucks and I want it to be stopped and replaced with something better. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who sees the value in athletic programs for the disabled.




*I'm being sarcastic and snarky, and if you can't tell, then I suggest you never read anything ever again.